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I’ve been trying to figure out how we got to where we are today, so madly in love, happy, hopeful… It is a long story, full of bums, heart-breaks, and disappointments. So,, I’ve decided to put it into writing, and move forward from it, as it really doesn’t matter how we got here, all that matters is where we are today, and where we’re going together.
About two years ago, I was going through a horrific divorce. There was no heart-break, just a desperate feeling to break free from the nightmare I was living. I was going mad, stressed to the limit, full on anger and resentment, more towards myself than anyone else. I decided to start my Fb fan page as an outlet to release the negativity and try to keep my sanity, what little was left of it.
A former friend of my soon to be ex and I, somehow, became closer. She sympathized with me and couldn’t believe what her now former friend was putting me through. I have never been a victim, and wasn’t about to become one, especially not to someone who is mentally unstable and emotionally abusive. I was determined to get this negativity out of my life for good. This friend was trying to help. She mentioned that I “needed” a REAL man. One that could handle someone like me; a strong, independent woman, who was never and never would be a pushover. I told her that I believed I was too much for anyone to handle… She said she knew a guy. I rolled my eyes. She would back down, and kept pushing for me to at least add him as a friend on Fb. I was hesitant, but finally gave in. I sent him a friend request, and he accepted. I remember seeing his picture, and glancing and his profile thinking “wow, he’s absolutely handsome, smart and “together”… A man like him would never be interested in a mess like me”.
One night, out of the blue, I get an apology from this un-reachable man. I caught me off guard, so I asked what it was he felt the need to apologize for. He said he didn’t know how to act around “hot” women. The one word I despise being referred as by men…. I kept my cool, and was still on the nice side, though my guard had gone up tremendously. He said he’d be in touch, and that we’d talk soon. Then, life happened and somehow we never spoke again. I got caught in a web of trying to make up for the mess I had just gotten out of. I was blinded by anger, still. I was on a mission to be happy at all cost. Not realizing that I was just jumping into yet another mess, this one even bigger than the last. So much bigger, that everything I had managed to save from the last one, was gone with this one, including the best job I’d ever had.
Fast forward about a year and a half, around New Year 2013. This female friend and I ended up on the phone once again. Catching up and venting. She asked about her friend and if I had ever added him on Fb. I told her yes, but he didn’t seem interested, so we lost touch. She started pushing for me to add him again and even sent me the link to his profile. It took me a couple of weeks to see her message. When I saw it, I immediately sent him another friend request. I never got an alert about him accepting, so I figured he didn’t. Four or five months later, this guy started commenting on my posts. We engaged in small talk through comments, but nothing ever came out of it. He intrigued me to say the least. One night, he commented that he couldn’t stop thinking about me, I laughed, as I thought he was messing with me. He though I was upset. I sent him a private message telling him that I wasn’t. He was very short, and didn’t seem to want to talk to me one on one, so I let it go. A few days later, he was back…. Commenting and making it sound like he was interested in me, but not making any attempts to talk to me privately. I sent him my number and told him not to be a stranger. He said he’d be in touch, but never texted or called. I was even more intrigued, wondering if it was all a game.
Two more weeks went by, and my world collapsed. A family situation sucked the happiness right out of me. I was devastated and didn’t want to do anything but sleep. My heart was shattered, I didn’t want to die, but I also didn’t care to live. I didn’t become suicidal, I was just broken. Suddenly, this man reached out to me. He called me later that night, and I broke down not even 30 seconds after answering the phone. I thought I’d never hear from him again!!! Here was this man, finally calling me, and I was a basket case, crying and sobbing in his ear. He listened, he comforted me, he made me smile and even laugh, when all I wanted to do was cry my life away. I told him that even if I never heard from him again, I’d always be grateful for how he made me feel that night.
The very next day I called him. To my surprise, he was still talking to me. We shared our life stories with each other and learned that we have both been through hell and back several times over. We challenged each other, we listened, appreciated and understood. Without knowing how, we ended up realizing that we had always been in love with the other, even before we met. It made sense why loving before didn’t seem like an option. Your heart belongs to ONE person in your lifetime, and Michael has always had mine, and always will. The term “soul mates” suddenly made sense. We get mad, we argue, but our love is much stronger than anything on this earth. We’ve saved each other, and are now tackling life holding each other’s hand, walking side by side.
Michael, not only did you save my life, you ARE my life. I’m looking forward to spending the rest of it at least trying to make you happy as your best friend, your partner in crime, your wife…… I’m so in love with you!!!!!
Lucy asked for my side of our story…..
I don’t remember the day or even the month, but it happened about two years ago. I somehow came across a Facebook page named Lucy Fuhr’s Den. I was curious. As I read a few posts, one thing was perfectly clear. It was no holds barred, other than the limits of Facebook rule makers. These posts were harsh, funny,crude,vulgar and profane. Oh , and one other thing, brutally honest. Everyone and everything was fair game. If you didn’t like it or were easily hurt, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out! Now I was intrigued…..
After a few weeks of reading random Den posts,it became obvious who ran this asylum that pushed the limits as far as possible, and beyond. Her name was Lucy Fuhr. Knowing that this was an obvious stage name, I was still curious about the woman behind the character. She was bold, brash and stunningly beautiful. The more I read, the more I was drawn to this Lucy Fuhr.
Again, not sure of the time frame, but it took me a very long time to even post a half witted comment on one of her posts. This woman was out of my league, and my sad attempts at humor would surely be laughed at. But unknown by me, a mutual friend had been speaking highly of me to Lucy. And thankfully so! When I finally got up the liquid courage to contact her privately, she already knew a bit about me! Needless to say I screwed that first one on one contact , horribly. Or so I thought. Yet I still retreated to the cover of just being a fan again.
I watched and read more posts again, on occasion. Yet the more I did, the more I saw a woman who had been hurt, time and time again. To say she was jaded, would be a massive understatement. The other thing I saw was a cry for help. Whether it be a shoulder to lean on , or just a person to listen to her and not judge. I wanted to be that person. As weeks went on, the posts became darker and darker. I could tell that something truly awful was happening to her. Although I had no idea what it was, I had to help.
This time it was not liquid courage. It was the desire to help another human who was crying out for help, yet no one seemed to hear her. I called. We talked a bit. She called me. We talked some more. This went back and forth for quite some time. She just needed both an ear to talk to and I shoulder to lean on a bit. Without going into detail, she went from being in a very bad place in her life to actually being able to smile again and even laugh a little. We were growing a little closer.
After more talking and laughing, we both shared the facts of having gone through hell to get to where we were today. I was impressed with her that she had not gone full, bat shit, crazy with all she had been through. She expressed the same thoughts about me. Mind you , both of us had different things to deal with, but lived through the same type of pain and emotions. It was scary and refreshing all at the same time. Still not sure how it happened, but I was finally learning about the woman behind the character. Rough, tough, and take no shit on the outside. Sweet,loving, caring, mother, daughter,sister, friend…. and my future wife ! Again , not sure how it actually happened, but through all of the talking, the arguments, the tears, and the laughter, Lucy said yes. My soulmate said yes when I asked her to marry me !
When we began talking, Lucy asked me to never mention the word marriage, ever. She had been burned before and was done with marriage. But I knew deep down in my heart that she was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. A formality like a marriage certificate was not going to prevent me from my dream of sharing my life with my soulmate. She understands me more than any 10 women,combined. And I understand her more than any person ever could dream to. After some rough days and long talks, she, thankfully, completely changed her mind about marriage. I was, and still am, elated ! I’ve found my soulmate and she said yes !
Now we are spending all of our free time making plans for a small but hopefully perfect wedding that neither one of us has ever had. And I could not have planned this any better if I tried.
I love you
to be continued………